Man Friday

TW: Sexual Violence

Looking up into the sky while lying in a park within the IIT (Indian Institute of Technology) Mumbai campus, amid pollution, it’s hard to find three stars. Usually, Chaya couldn’t stand not finding three stars. It had to be three. She felt a sense of restlessness if she didn’t find three. It was a superstition that if she didn’t find a third star, it was considered unlucky. That her days would go badly after. She saw her mom, Mrinal, do it, so she did it too. That day, as she was lying with Rihaan, she knew she’d have to let go of trying to find the third star. She was fine with just finding two stars.

They didn’t have the money to buy a fridge or an AC unit. After she was born, they got those things. Mrinal was pregnant with Chaya while doing a master’s in chemistry. During her eighth month of pregnancy, while finishing three packets of Maggi, because she didn’t have the time to cook a nutritious meal, she was studying for her annual exam, which marked her graduation. Chaya’s dad, Vivaan, had just started a job, and his hours were really demanding, so he told Mrinal that he couldn’t cook for her. Both Mrinal and Vivaan came from families with limited resources, but on special occasions, they would have orange cream biscuits. So they knew that, they didn’t have any familial financial support, they had to figure it out on their own.

Mrinal’s love story was like a Bollywood romance. She met him at her friend’s wedding. Odia weddings are like an average North-Indian wedding and a Bengali wedding at the same time, except you don’t sit on a leaf. They are loud, with many rituals and traditions. Like a Bengali wedding, the wedding, of course, had Ululudhvani, where the women in the family kept making high-pitched, rhythmic sounds from the rapid, side-to-side movement of their tongues. Mrinal hated it. It was loud, and it was always followed by someone blowing the Shankh, a conch shell. She stood in the corner to avoid the sound, and by her side stood Vivaan. Vivaan was also trying to avoid the crowd. They smiled at each other, and Vivaan struck up a conversation. Then, after that, every Bollywood romance follows the same pattern: they would sneak around and meet each other. Families initially opposed their dating but eventually warmed to it, and in 2000, they got married.

Mrinal and Vivaan rented an apartment in the G block of Jalvayu Vihar (JVV). They were among the youngest married couples to move into JVV, because most families there were older, Air Force and Navy veterans. Which is why it was supposedly a target of the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks in 2008, but was scrapped. Chaya was born at Lok Hospital in Thane, a city about an hour from the main centre of Mumbai, because Mrinal’s parents lived in Lok Puram, Thane. After Mrinal’s parents found out that, in the 8th month of her pregnancy, she was eating three packets of Maggi, Mrinal’s mother, Seema, told her to move back temporarily till Chaya was born. Seema told her, “It’s going to be a girl”, because of the shape of her belly. She was carrying higher.

Mrinal, Chaya, and Vivaan lived together at first. Mrinal and Vivaan had Chaya within the first year of marriage, and it was going well. However, Vivaan was fed up with the long hours. He wanted a change. He wanted something new. Vivaan was never happy, just as he is. So he quit his job. Mrinal, while caring for Chaya, continued studying and decided to pursue her PhD in Chemistry at the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research (TIFR).

Vivaan was now staying at home more than Mrinal and taking care of Chaya. But the silence, and only the sound of a baby crying, was getting to him. He convinced himself that Mrinal was cheating on him. So every day that Mrinal would come back home, he would pester her, he would ask incessantly, “Who were you with?” He never raised his hands at Mrinal, but he was loud and paranoid. Mrinal, at first, would listen dearly, even cry to his words. Chaya was three now, and she started learning words. Chaya’s first word was “Mrinal”, but the way she would say it was mimicking Vivaan’s anger. That’s when she realised that it wasn’t the right place to raise Chaya. So she told everyone around her that the schools in Thane are better than those in Powai, a residential suburb in Mumbai, which is partly true. The only good one near Powai was Bombay Scottish School, but that was still far in Mahim, a neighbourhood in Mumbai. They didn’t live in a Hiranandani building, so she couldn’t join Hiranandani Foundation School in Powai. So Chaya moved in with Mrinal’s parents, Seema and Raunak, in Thane. She went to Lok Puram Public School.

After Chaya left, Vivaan tried to tell Mrinal that he would change. He got started on his bus company, called it “Chaya’s buses”. The company was doing well and operating intercity sleeper buses. However, came on 26th July 2005. That day was remarkable for every Mumbaikar’s life because of the flooding. Some areas in Mumbai received over 900 mm of rain in less than 18 hours. All his intercity buses stopped running for those few days. The people working under him kept calling, but he wasn’t responsive. Mrinal was stuck in her lab, and Vivaan’s paranoia kicked in. He kept getting angrier, and eventually, his anger got the better of him. He punched the wall, and the water started leaking in. He left many calls for Mrinal, but the calls didn’t go through. Her Airtel caller tune kept playing again and again as he dialled her number. It was Kishore Kumar’s “Khwab Ho Tum Ya Koi Haqeeqat”. He stopped calling after a point and sat on the floor, rocking back and forth, singing the song. Mrinal got back the next day and found him in the same place singing the same song. She never listened to it again and immediately called Airtel to change her callertune.

After her PhD, Mrinal started working at Bhabha Atomic Research Centre (BARC). Vivaan’s bus company got back up, but his paranoia had grown. He had started talking to himself in the mirror, sometimes forgetting that the person in the mirror was him. Everyone around kept thinking that eventually Chaya would move back to Powai. But she continued living with her grandparents. Mrinal always wanted Chaya to attend the best schools and receive the best education. She thought the curriculum at Lok Puram Public School wasn’t good enough. She wanted Chaya to go to an international school. Subhrat, Mrinal’s brother, helped her out, and they sent her to Billabong High International School. With Subhrat’s help, Seema and Raunak bought a Maruti Suzuki car and hired a driver, Mangesh.

As time passed, Mangesh became quite important in the family. He would do more than was expected of a driver. He would run errands for the house. Seema’s knee broke, and after the operation, she still couldn’t walk the same, so Mangesh would lend his hand and help her walk. Seema hugged him and fed him food all the time. He became like a son to her, she would say. Raunak also started needing support. He never wanted to be dependent on anyone. He hated the idea of having to reach out for support. He never asked anyone in the family for help, but he felt comfortable asking Mangesh because he was paying him. Raunak would keep asking Mrinal why Vivaan couldn’t do all of this, why Vivaan couldn’t take care of them.

Chaya looked at Mrinal’s parents, more like her parents. Seema was like a second mother to Chaya, and Raunak was like a father to her. At the age of 14, she told her Mrinal that she should get a divorce. But Mrinal stayed even though Chaya had no connection with Vivaan. Mrinal tried to get Vivaan to see a psychiatrist, but Vivaan was so reluctant that he just kept screaming at her. Mrinal was friends with a pharmacist and attempted to source pills illegally, hoping that would help, but Subhrat convinced her otherwise. At this point, she had grown so used to him that she told Subhrat she would listen to everything Vivaan said from one ear and out the other.

When Chaya turned 17, Raunak and Mrinal wanted Chaya to study sciences, but Chaya did not want to. She fought to convince them that she wanted to study economics. Subhrat convinced Mrinal that Chaya should study abroad, so Raunak and Mrinal paid for Chaya's SAT (Scholastic Assessment Test) tuition. They did not allow Chaya to travel alone, so they sent Mangesh with her. Chaya would sit in the front passenger seat. She didn’t really think much. She just liked sitting in the front seat because it felt good to move with the traffic. She loved the car rides. She liked the city lights, especially when it rained, because the windows would fog up, the windshield wipers would clear them, and she would immediately see the raindrops falling again, and the city lights would change from blurry to clearer. She had clear vision but always wanted glasses. This helped her imagine what it would feel like to have weaker eyesight and how the world would look clearer if she wore them.

As time went by, Mangesh would start sharing more personal stories about his life with Chaya, giving her advice on what to do and telling her she’s really smart. When you are stuck in Mumbai traffic, using the handbrake becomes second nature. Mangesh would also do that. But, eventually, from the handbrake, his hands reached further into the front passenger seat. Chaya tried to dismiss it at first, convinced herself it was a misaim, and he tried to go for the handbrake. But when it happened the second time, she knew that it wasn’t a mistake. How could he do that when he has a daughter himself? How could he say such nice things, and yet do that? So she sat in the backseat and didn’t tell anyone what happened. She wondered what they’d think if she told them. He’s been part of the house for as long as she knows, and she knew that she was going to leave the house soon, so she didn’t care for it much and let go.

Mrinal and Subhrat funded Chaya’s education at Loughborough University in the UK. During her undergrad, Chaya wouldn’t feel at home in the UK. She struggled to find a community to rely on. Her support system was across the world, connected through phone calls and messages. Chaya’s boyfriend, Rihaan, was studying Mechanical Engineering at IIT, Mumbai. They had known each other since she was 16. She would leave her video call on at night as she slept, missing home, while he’d be on the other side working. They just missed each other’s company, and even through the distance, they were comforted by eachother’s presence across screens. Sometimes, she would do that with Mrinal, too. Rihaan and Mrinal were the two most important people in Chaya’s life, who made her feel at home. As long as they were in her life, she didn’t need anyone else. After graduation, she looked for jobs in the UK, but despite searching thoroughly and reaching many final interview rounds, she couldn’t secure any, so she returned home.

That year was the toughest. Everyone around her looked at her as though she couldn’t make it. It was easy for others to form judgements without understanding the life of an immigrant and how alone it might feel in a country that’s not your own. Mrinal would fight back against any comments people made. Subhrat advised Chaya to study for the CAT, the Common Admission Test in India. So Mrinal found a tuition centre, and Chaya started going back to tuition. Moving back home meant all the freedom she had in the UK was gone. Raunak and Mrinal were convinced that she could not travel on her own, so they sent her with Mangesh again. She thought it had been years. What’s the worst if she sits in the front seat? So she did, and it was fine at first, but after some time, it repeated. This time, she decided she needed to do something.

So she told Mrinal, and Mrinal shouted at Mangesh. Mangesh teared up, dropped to his knees and told Mrinal it was a mistake. Mrinal saw his tears and took his side. It didn’t take much to convince Mrinal. After all, despite everything, she stayed with Vivaan. So Mrinal told Chaya she should have sat in the back seat. Chaya cried to her mom, begging her to believe her. Mrinal, now convinced by Chaya, talks to Raunak, and Raunak asks Mrinal who is going to take care of them, since Chaya wasn’t a man in the house. Raunak couldn’t hold onto her and walk. So now, Mrinal was convinced by Raunak. Subhrat told all of them that every household needs a ‘Man Friday’, a man who would help the family with their work and be loyal and trustworthy. Mrinal kept changing her stance as she talked to people. But, doing so, Chaya experienced her first heartbreak. She didn’t feel at home in the UK, and now she doesn’t feel at home at a place she once considered home. So she gave up and didn’t fight back. It was harder to fight back when Mrinal, the one person she thought would be by her side, wasn’t. But, she knew that in her life, her family was only her mom and her, so despite everything, she continued to love her the same, even though Mrinal broke her heart.

So Chaya’s home was reduced to one person, Rihaan. Now that they were closer to each other, she would sneak out at night, take an auto to the IIT campus to meet Rihaan, because he was the only person who was now there for her. Neither her family nor her friends knew what Rihaan was like. But his shoulders were the only ones she felt like she could lean on.